Twice the Love, Twice the Pain
by cancercute
Summary: She left, and it broke his heart. He broke her heart, that's why she left. Now they meet again. What will they do? Fall for their first love all over again? Mimato! R&R!
1. An Unexpected Twist of Faith

**A/N:** Hey! I'm back with my second fic, also a Mimato, called "Twice the Love, Twice the Pain". Well, I'm excited. I just wanted to make stories before I graduate high school. Hahaha. That would be like 2 years from now. Anyway, there are new characters. I've made up some names. Hope you enjoy!

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**Twice the Love, Twice the Pain**

**Chapter 1: An Unexpected Twist of Faith**

_By_

**©ancercute**

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_Twice the Love_

_Twice the Pain_

_I'm falling for you_

_Hoping that I won't get hurt again_

It was 3 o'clock in the morning, and she was still wide awake, sipping her brood Starbucks coffee. Funny though, all she wanted to do was have a good night sleep the moment she came back from work five hours ago. She came home late, again. Then some time later, would pour herself black coffee. That's about the 3rd time that week. How the hell is she going to have an R and R in this situation? She was being her stubborn self again. Too bad there's no one there to tell or command her what to do, except her manager though. It was tough. She was struggling and she knows it. Being a famous model is very tough.

Yes, she, the young 23 year old Mimi Tachikawa is a well-known supermodel. And everytime she'd walk down those Manhattan streets, people would turn their heads, eye her for her magnificently natural beauty and she would hear whispers from them sounding something like, "Is that the popular Mimi Tachikawa?" or "She is so extremely beautiful" and sometimes "Omg! I can't believe that's her natural look". Well, you can't blame her if that's what everyone says. But it was true. Definitely true. Long wavy chestnut hair, bright perfectly shaped face, strawberry pink lips, long thick black eyelashes with matching hazel orbs, Coca-Cola body with curves in the right places, a flat stomach, and a pair of creamy flawless legs… She is the envy of every woman, the unattainable dream of every men, the power of every fashion industry. She is beyond stunningly beautiful.

Another sigh escaped her lips, probably the 10th time that night, or morning perhaps. She took the last sip of her coffee and placed her mug down on the kitchen counter where she had been spending one whole hour sitting and sighing. Her face displayed a bored expression as she aimlessly draw lazy circles on the cold counter with her finger. That's when she noticed it was so quiet. Her dull apartment was so empty, cold and quiet. She remembered one time, she got a dog to accompany her in her home. It was comfortable at first but then it started to bark so loud every night. She got annoyed then. Plus, she had to buy it food, took it a bath, and she even has to dry the carpet because of its pee. She got enough of it, which leads her to now- being alone.

But why won't she buy a nice big mansion and hire maids so she could have company? And maybe let some of her friends stay with her in New York? She does earn a lot of money in her modeling career. But then again, she has to pay the maids and it would make things a lot complicated with only a few of them in a large house. Added to that, her friends were having their own lives now. Tai and Sora are now living together and earning together in who knows where in Japan, though they still aren't engaged. Koushiro is working in Tokyo as a great computer programmer while Joe is busy tending his patients in his own clinic. Tk and Kari are now dating. Tk is a professional basketball player while Kari is a journalist in an expensive magazine. And Matt? Maybe his out there somewhere performing with his band. How should she know? They haven't had a good communication with each other since she left. _Might as well forget about it_, she thought.

Standing up from her seat, she fixed her robe to cover her bare stomach since she was wearing a purple spaghetti strapped top and a pair of short shorts. She made her way to her bedroom, giving up and deciding to have some shut eye.

As she opened her door, she saw a room that looked like some huge hurricane had just passed.

"Ah shit," she groaned to herself.

Blankets and pillows were all over the place; lipsticks and make ups were scattered on her dresser table, magazines were lying on the floor, clothes and shoes were thrown in the least places where you could find them. It was one crazy jungle in there.

She moved her way over her unmade bed and didn't mind her trashy surroundings, remembering what riot she did earlier that morning. She plopped herself on the mattress and let blackness take over her sight, and soon drifted to sleep.

¤-¤-¤

"Good."

Flash.

"Excellent."

Flash.

"Marvelous."

Flash.

"Great job Meems. You look amazing in the photo shoots," Yuji said praising Mimi for her wonderful job well done as he adjusted the lens of his camera. He was her 1st photographer since she was chosen to become a model until up to this moment. The man was almost 2 years ahead of her with his blonde hair and green eyes.

"Thanks," she replied at her photographer then sat down in the couch of the studio, where she worked everyday.

Mimi was a little tired of posing during the shoot, but has gotten used to it over the years. She drank water to replenish her thirst when Aika her 2nd best friend came jumping and skipping towards her, with her long black hair bouncing and her bright purple eyes gleaming, being the ever so jolly bestfriend she was.

"Meems, here you are," she said cheerfully.

Mimi smiled at the sight of Aika. She was lucky to have her as her best friend in New York, but she could never equal Sora. Mimi and Sora were like sisters. Sora would always be there for her whenever she needed her, she would always give the best advises, and most of all, they have grown together and they learned how each other thinks. Sora was the diamond among all her jewelries.

But that doesn't mean Aika can't be trusted or anything. She was the best that Mimi could have in New York, other than her career of course. She was there for her the moment Mimi became a supermodel. And she never changed her attitude towards Mimi to whatever she became or may become. And that's what she liked about her.

"What's the news? You're overly excited today," Mimi asked wondering what she would tell her.

"Girl, there's a sale today at Manhattan Mall!!" She announced with thrill in her voice jumping up and down. "Plus, a new club is opening this night! I think it's called Coastal Lounge."

Seeing the look on her best friend's face, all Mimi could do was smile and laugh. She managed to bring a smile to plaster on her face just to forget the awful things she did last night in her room.

"Please tell me your free tonight Meems," she pleaded with a pout. "C'mon. It's a Friday night!"

"I don't know Aika. I don't know if I have to do more photo shoots today," Mimi explained slowly breaking the poor little heart of Aika.

"I think you could call it a day today Meems," a man's voice suddenly interrupted the two.

Both girls looked up and saw a tall middle aged man with chocolate brown hair and black eyes named Kenji, Mimi's very loyal manager, smiling up to them.

"You can have the rest of this day. I think you did a fantastic job in your shoot. We'll cut work short today," he told the young model.

"Thank you very much sir," she said appreciating the kindness his manager has given her.

She turned back to her friend receiving a curious face. "So?"

"I'm free!"

"Yes!"

¤-¤-¤

"You are not wearing that to the opening of the club are you?" Mimi asked looking Aika up and down disapprovingly in the fitting room.

Aika had tried fitting on a really tight black jeans with the word "bitch" printed on the butt part of the clothing.

"Why not?"

"Coz it doesn't look sexy. It's just too plain and simple for my taste. Let's go look for other chic clothes to try on."

"Fine. This is like the fifth time you said no to whatever I choose."

They made their way to several shops and boutiques in the mall. It has almost been an hour and a half before they found the right things they were going to buy. Plus, there were other extra shopping bags and stuff to add style in their shopping trip.

Few hours later, the two girls were in Mimi's apartment getting ready for their free leisure time that Friday night. And what better way to spend it than to have a great time partying in a new bar in the city. Go dancing.. drinking.. shaking the worries off.. and probably getting your mind off of everything.

"So, what's up with you?" Aika asked Mimi as she put her big silver hoop earrings facing the oval mirror.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play with me girl. The moment we met down the elevator going to the studio, your face was all like Cinderella didn't get to meet her fairy godmother to take her to the ball. It was like 'malls don't exist in the world'. You looked fucked up!"

Mimi sighed. She was definitely fucked up that night. Or lonely. She must have been missing someone.

Suddenly, she erased that thought from her head.

"Yeah. Well, I was a little emotional that time. Or maybe I was really fucked up. I don't know," she told Aika adjusting the crisscrossing laces of her black and pink sandals.

"About what exactly?"

"You know what? Let's not talk about it cuz it really bothers me. Let's go out and have fun!"

"Sure. Whatever you say," Aika said rolling her eyes.

Soon enough, they were standing in front of a full body mirror, checking up their appearances and everything else that mattered. Mimi was wearing a short rose pink v-cut corset with black lace ups on the front and ribbon straps showing her cleavage and her pierced belly button. She had a short black miniskirt paired up with matching pink and black sandals with those laces crisscrossing her legs. Added to that, she had a light make up and her hair done in a ponytail. On the other hand, Aika wore a very short denim skirt and a fit lime green sleeveless polo shirt leaving the buttons undone. She had a pair of black boots that came halfway up to her knees. They were excited to have the night of their own.

It was already seven twenty-five when the taxi stopped at the entrance of the Coastal Lounge Bar. They got out and were greeted by two huge bouncers with big muscles in plain black shirts.

"Name?" One of them asked.

"Mimi Tachikawa and Aika Makino," Mimi answered. Then the man scribbled their names into the list while the other one opened the door for them.

"Let's show the bitches in us," Aika whispered so that Mimi could here, and they both laughed. This was one good thing with Aika. She loves to have fun and make people laugh. So there's never a dull moment with her.

They entered the dim room with only the colorful disco lights illuminating the place. Loud music was blaring the ears of everyone and people were dancing everywhere. There were groups of people on the couches drinking and laughing and being merry.

As the two walked towards the bar and sat on two tall seats on the counter, Mimi saw a group of four guys in the far end of the room talking and laughing with alcoholic drinks on their table. She noticed a handsome face in one of them, and seems to be interested and a little attracted to him. She didn't clearly see his face because of the dimness, but she was sure that he had those extremely handsome features.

"Who are you checking out Meems?" Aika asked with interest.

"That hot guy over there," she answered motioning to the group of guys she had been looking at.

"Hey, isn't that Yuji, your photographer?" she asked Mimi when she was a guy with blonde hair over the table Mimi was pointing out.

"What? No, that's not him. Sure he's a blonde, but this one's hot," Mimi replied smiling.

"Well, I'm ready to have fun." Aika got up from her position and walked over to the guys' table leaving Mimi behind.

She came nearer to their table and pulled one of them, a guy with brown hair towards the dance floor. The guy's companions laughed at him including the one Mimi's attracted to.

"Miss, can I have tequila?" she asked the bartender. The bartender gave Mimi her drink and continuously sipped it as she watched the blonde over the side of the club.

Few minutes had passed already and still Aika wasn't coming back. Several guys has offered to dance and talk to her but she ignored it. She doesn't even like how they looked.

She continued to stare at him and he managed to catch her looking at him. He looked back, and she smiled her seductive smile at him. He liked it. He grinned at her. They were talking to each other with their signs. She motioned for him to come near. And he did.

As he came towards her, she caught a glimpse of his azure eyes. It was pure handsomeness. He gave her his sexiest smile. And she returned it.

She stood up from her seat and looked up to the guy with her hazel eyes. Their bodies were near each other. Very close. He noticed how beautiful she was, like a goddess.

"Hello beautiful," he greeted and she smiled.

They were standing close to each other, staring at each other, smiling at each other. She could smell his sexy perfume. So strong.. and fragrant.

Mimi pulled the collar of the guy closer to her and moved backwards towards a darker part of the room. When she was against the wall, still holding on to his collar, she kissed him. She kissed him lightly but passionately. The guy responded back.

Then, she pulled away, smiled and bit her lips, signaling him for more. The guy smirked. He kissed her once more, pinning her on the wall so she couldn't move. Their lips touched as well as their mouths. She was using both hands to hold his collar, showing he was hers. He moved his body closer to hers so that they would touch. And as their bodies were locked together, she wrapped her arms around his neck. The guy wandered his hands on to her bare shoulders down to her flat naked stomach. He was nibbling her lips. It tasted sweet, like lollipop. He played with the piercing on her bellybutton which she find ticklish. She smiled at this and continued to kiss him fully.

_It's magnificent_, she thought. _It feels so great, so good_. She was in love with the feeling.. Yet, it feels very familiar..

_His touch of my piercing.._

_The taste of his lips.._

_The smell of his delicate perfume.._

But she couldn't pinpoint it out. She ran her one hand to his hair.

_Hmm.. his hair.._ _It feels like.._

She pulled away from his kiss and at the same time looked at him with shocked wide open eyes, and unlocked her arms from his neck. She stared at his ocean blue eyes with disbelief and disappointment.

.."Yamato."

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**A/N:** So what do you think? Please review!


	2. Dwelling to the Past

**A/N:** First of all, I would like to thank pearl, Andrea, idk, M M Forever, cHaRiSmA DoLl ArIeLlE, pam, su-pa kawaii, mystical ruby, MidnighSparkle, White Moon Princess, hexgurl001 for your reviews! It made want to continue my fic sooner. So, thanks for your support! Anyway, I was so happy that I got 11 reviews for the 1st chap. It made me feel very strong about my story.

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**Twice the Love, Twice the Pain**

**Chapter 2: Dwelling to the Past**

_By_

**©ancercute**

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She continued to stare at him with mixed emotions. Shocked, disappointed, confused, uneasy, sad, yet there's a part of her that's happy. All of these different emotions were toying with her. It was all overwhelming, and too much to take. She didn't know what to do. She just stood there looking at him unbelievingly. It was like were feet got stuck on the floor.

He stared at her, surprised at the sudden mention of his name. _'How does she know me?'_ he thought with knitted eyebrows. He was uncertain. He took a step back away from her to focus on her face. He studied her face sharply- from her eyes, they were twinkled hazel. Her face was creamy. She looked like an angel, a piece of art that couldn't be described by a thousand words. Hazel eyes…

"Mimi?"

She snapped out of her thoughts, now that he realized who she was. Quickly, she looked away, avoiding his pair of fascinatingly attractive blue eyes.

"I… I'm sorry," she walked away from him, looking down to the floor. She wanted to get away from him, away from his sight. Yet, there's a part of her screaming to just stay and try to feel the amazing feeling she felt years ago. She knows that she misses it. She was just too stubborn to give herself a chance. Her legs were melting. Her feet were taking her away from him, moving without any direction. The thoughts in her head were confusing her. She couldn't think straight- not knowing what to do.

She stopped in the middle of the bar, half way to the exit. Trying to think of what to do, she breathed deeply. But her loud heartbeat was distracting her.

'_Where's Aika?'_ she thought. Just before she could answer her own question, she took out her cellphone and sent her friend a message saying she'll be leaving. With that, she went outside and left the bar. The night's happenings were too much for her to take in on one nighttime.

Yamato just stood still; too dumbstruck of what had occurred. He recollected the events in his head and repeated it over and over again, and if that woman was really Mimi. But instead of wasting his time trying to find an answer that he knows he wouldn't be sure of, he hurriedly rushed outside, following her tracks.

When he got outside, he found her getting inside a cab.

"Mimi!"

He ran towards the door of the vehicle, trying to catch her. But before he could do such action, the cab sped away leaving him hopelessly standing outside the bar by the street in the middle of a Friday night. In frustration and defeat, he ran his fingers through his golden blonde hair and got back inside with a different expression plastered on his face than the moment he first stepped in the place with a smile. He returned with his friends and plopped down to the couch sighing heavily. It was either the club was no longer fun or his encounter with this woman had gotten him off his party mood. Definitely the latter.

"Where were you off to man?" asked his friend Nate, a guy with black eyes and midnight blue hair.

"Yeah. The second you got up from your seat, you were smiling like ass and now you're pouting like shit," joked Seiji, his other buddy with black hair and grey eyes.

"Ahh. Just some problems with a girl," he answered without looking at his companions knowing what kind of crap they'll come up just to annoy him.

"Dude? A girl?" Seiji asked with an impressed look on his face.

"Nice man. Great job. Ishida is back on the track of crappy love. You haven't dated since Mimi left you," added Nate.

"Yeah I know," he replied without any expression on his face. "Where's Ryo?"

"He's still with that girl who stole him from us."

Then as if on cue, Ryo came back falling in the couch with sweat on his forehead and Aika on his side both smiling. After dancing wild with him, Aika still looked like herself. Her clothes remained on the right places as her long straight hair looked neat and bangs totally covered her forehead.

"Had fun?" Nate asked.

"Hell I did," Ryo replied wiping his sweat.

Remembering Mimi, Aika took out her cell from the pocket of her skirt and checked out her messages. She read the one that came from Mimi wondering why she would send her a message since they were both in the bar.

"Aww, Mimi left. Great," she whined loud enough to be heard by the others.

The mere mention of Mimi's name made Yamato come back to reality in alert and looked at Aika.

"Mimi? Tachikawa?"

"Yep, you know her?" she asked. "Oh, of course you do. She's famous. Silly me."

It was the other guys' turn to be surprised at her.

"What?"

"She's famous?"

"Of course. She's one of America's top models. And I'm so lucky to be her friend," she said with flattery. "Wait, why don't you guys know?"

"Because we're from Japan," Nate explained.

"Ohh.."

"Hey Ishida, didn't know your girl is a model," turned Seiji to Matt.

"Yeah. Why didn't you tell us?" Ryo interrupted.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Mimi, your girl?" a confused Aika asked Yamato in an 'i-don't-believe-you' tone stressing on the words 'your girl'.

"Sure. They used to be a couple, until Mimi broke up with him," Nate answered for Matt with a laugh.

The girl just shut herself up and just listened to whatever they were saying. She wouldn't like to talk about Mimi without her presence there. It would be rude, as her best friend. Thinking if what these guys are saying is true, she'll just have to shut up and tell Mimi what they had been talking about. She wasn't a dimwit to just trust somebody she just knew especially from a bar. Wait, she doesn't even know them yet.

As for Yamato, he wasn't joining the conversation and found it rather insulting talking about his past relationship with the model. He just sat in the couch giving no comments or whatsoever ignoring every little word his amigos were blabbering. If his mood was like this, neglecting them was the only thing he could do to control his temper. And the only thing or person, let's say, that could make him bulldog angry was Mimi. There it goes again. Her name entering his head. Shaking off that word, he drank his beer.

"Ok whatever," Aika suddenly commented, taking the beer in front of her and drank it.

"Hey that's mine," Ryo complained.

"It's mine now," she replied with a wink. "Well, I have to go," she stood up from his side and turned to face them. "What are your guys' names again?"

"Yamato."

"Seiji."

"Nate."

"Ryo," he introduced with a himself with a laugh.

"Shut up, I know you already."

"Where are you going?" he asked with a pout, disappointed that she has to leave.

Aika leaned down to face Ryo with her hands on top of his thighs for support, showing her cleavage since her buttons were undone.

"Home," she smiled at him.

"Can I come?" he asked grinning at her.

"Maybe next time," she said and pressed her lips in his mouth, tasting it before she'd go.

Then, she pulled away, and stood straight. She turned to leave and took a step. But before she could continue, she looked back and said, "Aika, by the way."

She smiled and walked her way towards the crowd. Just as she was about to disappear in the mass number of people, Ryo shouted.

"Love you bitch."

Aika heard this clearly and smiled to herself in contentment.

"Idiot," she muttered.

¤-¤-¤

Good thing she only had one shot of tequila. Having more than she could take could get her really wasted- and she didn't like to get drunk at that moment, especially with her small escapade with Yamato. She absolutely does not like the idea of her having a scandalous gossip with him from the public and receive numerous crucial questions from the press nor get her followed by the bloody goddamned paparazzi. That was the only good thing that had happened to her that night. No media.. no rumors.. and no one that caught her in one of the most outrageous events of her life. While everything else was a whole different story, and the rest was history. She only hoped that the extremely fantastic thing that happened to her just hours ago would be buried dead under the face of the earth and never haunt her again. Ever. And she just admitted to herself that it was the most fantastic thing that happened to her.

That's what she wished.

Taking a bite of her taco, she continued eating it in her apartment while wandering around listening to her ipod. Amazingly, it was her 3rd taco and she hasn't got tired of eating it. The most impressive part of it is that she doesn't get fat. She maintains her figure like an hourglass despite of how huge her appetite is. Anyhow, the reason why she doesn't get sick of consuming her food was that she was pissed. And when she's pissed, she'll munch and gobble like a hungry pig.

She was pissed of tonight. Annoyed at the fact that she didn't get to enjoy the rest of the day her manager gave her. Disturbed for seeing again the man the she _used to_ love. Why was she pissed at him anyway?

She finished her 3rd and last taco and drank water. Mumbling incoherently to herself, she made her way to the sofa of her mini living room and badly tried to get her mind off of the past event as she listened to the song starting up.

_I remember the times we spent together  
On those drives, we had a million questions  
All about our lives  
And when we got to New York everything felt right  
I wish you were here with me,  
Tonight_

Shit. Perfect. Just what she needed. Quickly and angrily, she took the earphones from her ears and threw the ipod away from her, on the other side of the couch. She heard enough, and it was the last thing she wanted to hear. That song was the one she always hears on the radio making her guilty. Hopeless. Making her feel like an idiot and depressed. Most of all, making her remember the times they spent together. It was so cruel how the song perfectly fits and connects with her. It was like a jigsaw puzzle that matches on every side of her life. Worse is that she always hears it everyday on the radio on her way to the studio.

Feeling fed up and more bothered that she heard it again, Mimi had her eyebrows knitted. Tears were forming in her eyes because of too much trouble in her mind. She couldn't calm herself now or find something to make her feel relaxed. Here she is again, so emotional of herself just like the last night. It was frustrating to know that every night she couldn't bring herself to smile. It's always a sigh, pout, or rivers of tears. And this time, it was tears- hot wet salty tears cascading down her cheeks. When was the last time she had a night to remember? Probably weeks ago. She was sobbing, pouring out the droplets of water from her eyes, making these crying noises. Where was the bright happy-go-lucky energetic and lighthearted Mimi Tachikawa that she used to know? Has she left it in Japan?

Bowing down her head, she wiped her tears away knowing that it would be foolish to cry at some bull crap. Why was she crying anyway? It was useless, crying over some piece of pathetic losers. Was she crying because of a certain someone? For now, she didn't give a damn to anything. She promised herself to be strong, and crying wasn't going to help her. What makes her weak was a man. And only one goddamned man can do it. But now, she's learning to get over it, for the millionth time when she left Japan. It was hard, difficult and maybe impossible to get over it. Get over the fact that she was still missing him, still in love with him. Was she really still in love with him? She thought she _used to_. But there is a part that screamed yes. Yes I'm still in love with him. Yet, there's another part that wants her to say no, and forget about it. And then there's an 'I don't know'. It was all confusing her, making her go insane.

Just as her tears were all dried up, another teardrop came rolling down. A tear of insanity.

A loud sigh broke out from her lips. Standing up from the couch, she walked towards her bedroom and closed all the lights. She crawled in to her blanket and checked her alarm clock. It was 1: 13 am. Tired of all her drama, she shut off her head.

¤-¤-¤

"So, she's really a supermodel eh?" Nate clarified.

"Yeah she is," confirmed Yamato as he slammed the magazine on the table.

They have just had their breakfast in the hotel café when Seiji came in showing them the Vogue magazine he found while he was in the lobby lounging. Mimi was on the cover page posing in close up. Her pretty heart shaped face was so fair and delicate. Her charming eyes had eyeliner on it making her eyelashes darker and thicker. Her long sienna colored hair was all over the place with some covering her face as effect of an electric fan. Still, she looked neat despite the unruliness of her hair. Her glittered ruby lips were so captivating. She had this black turtle neck on just down to her shoulders making her look classy. Although she wasn't smiling, she appeared stunning to every eye.

'_It's a beautiful picture' _Yamato thought. Every little thing about her was beautiful to him anyway. He missed her. The thing that happened last night, it was remarkably unforgettable. He is still attracted to her, no matter what. Even though he hasn't realized in the first place that it was Mimi, still he found himself being magnetized by the latter. And whatever destiny plans to them, he would always be fascinated by her. Whether the skies turn pink, chickens grew arms; the earth stopped revolving, and the whole world inverted upside down or inside out, he would always stay in love with her forever and beyond infinity. There he said it. Well, not actually say, but admitted to himself.

And hoped he still has the courage to admit it to her, again.

Suddenly, he noticed his bandmates were staring at him, and brought him back to reality. He must've spaced out, thinking of her.

"Awww, our Matty is in love," Ryo cracked up with a laugh being joined by the others.

They were playing with him again. How in love he was with Mimi. He knows he can't hide it. His friends already know it, since then.

"That's so sweet. Ants are attacking me Matt. Stop it already. Too much sweetness. Hahahaha," joked Seiji mimicking a female's voice.

Yamato snorted and laughed sarcastically acting as if he doesn't care.

"Shut up. C'mon let's go," he said getting up from his seat. "We've gotta be at the recording studio before lunch."

They all got up from their tables ready to go out.

"Hey Matt," called Nate behind him as the former was already at the door ready to leave. "Are you going to leave this magazine here?" He waved it at him.

Sighing, he said, "Bring it with you."

At this response, Seiji and Ryo chuckled behind him.

"This is gonna be a long day," Yamato murmured to himself.

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**A/N:** What do you think of it? Sorry for putting a lot of characters that don't even exist. Main focus here is of course Mimi & Matt. But I'll be working on Aika and Ryo's. If you don't mind that is. Just imagine though. Remember..

Yuji- photographer/blonde & green eyes

Aika- Mimi's bff/ black hair & purple eyes

Kenji- Mimi's manager/ brown hair & black eyes

Ryo- bandmate/Aika/lead guitarist/brown hair& eyes

Seiji- bandmate/bass/ black hair & grey eyes

Nate- bandmate/drums/dark blue hair & black eyes

(Though I haven't explained them)

Click that review button! Thank you & see ya in my next update!

Anyway, who wants me to update my "Love with Secrets Hidden"?


	3. I Still Love You

**A/N: **Hey, I'm back! Oh I forgot to tell you, the song in Mimi's ipod in Chap2 is **Tonight by FM Static**. Try to listen to it. It's nice. So anyway, thank you for the reviews. Appreciate it much. If you're wondering why I update faster this month is because it's summer here in the Philippines, and I don't have much to do, or let's say, I've got a lot of free time. You should be thankful though. Hahaha.. so with out anymore ado, here's Chapter 3! Enjoy!

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**Twice the Love, Twice the Pain**

**Chapter 3: I Still Love You**

_By_

**©ancercute**

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They were inside the recording studio for almost 2 hours now performing half of their songs in recording their first album. This was it. They were striving to make it big, big in the music industry- to be popular not only in Japan but also in the whole of America. Though they weren't that popular enough, their songs were already being played in the radio and music stations, even in America. And here they were in one of the best music studios in Manhattan, playing the songs they've been practicing since high school. It was years ago when they started their band, rocked their school, made some gigs and get to be chased by crowds of high school fan girls. Now, it was all business, only steps away to be world wide famous. It rocks.

The long work was about to be over since it was a few minutes before noon and lunch time. Soon they will be having their break and part ways from their manager and those in charge of the sound system.

"C'mon Matt, let's finish the half of our songs already," complained Ryo at the blonde.

Matt was on his seat, rubbing his temples with his right hand as he looked down at his phone on the table. He has been sitting there for a couple of minutes now thinking if he should call Mimi or not. The screen of his phone displayed his contacts and Mimi was on the top of the list. It wasn't surprising though, and still he liked it that way. So that when he open his phonebook, that would be the first name he'd see. And he doesn't get tired seeing it. But, it was disappointing. Sure she's been the first name on the list, but he doesn't get or have the bloody guts to even send her a message or even call, although he has his chances. It has been 5 years since they had a conversation or even talked, with the exception of last night. He couldn't decide if he should call.. or not.

What the hell happened to the confidently arrogant wide-grinned Yamato?

Had time left him over the years?

Those years that he has been without her?

'_She probably changed her number now,'_ he thought giving up.

"Dude!" Seiji voiced out, interrupting Matt's thoughts.

The blonde jerked up at his friend's intention of bringing him back to reality. He sighed in defeat, running his hands through his hair, and stood up walking inside the soundproof room joining his other bandmates. He picked up his navy blue and silver electric guitar, hung it around his shoulder and begun to strum the strings of the instrument. The others began to play their part producing an excellent beat- Ryo in lead guitar, Seiji in bass, and Nate in the drums. Matt started to sing the lyrics of their song, finishing what half of what has to be done by that time. And after that, they would have 6 more songs to record for their album to be completely made.

The song faded away with the strums of their guitars as it ended. They all headed out for lunch and left their instruments inside the studio, Matt hoping for a miracle to come upon him this day.

Hoping that miracle would be named Mimi.

¤-¤-¤

It was another fair day in the city, which means the cool air blows swiftly through the streets. Different vehicles and countless people were walking and passing by as noon gets closer by the second. Skyscrapers, buildings, shops and restaurants were all around the place.

Mimi and Aika were coming down from the building where the former holds her photo shoots. She just finished her work by that time and both have decided to eat in Adrianne's Pizza Bar just around the corner of 7th Avenue, also known as Fashion Ave. They hailed a taxi and got in.

"Hey Meems," Aika said as they sat comfortably inside the cab. "Sorry about last night. I left you in the bar by yourself. The guy kinda caught all of my attention."

Silence. Mimi didn't respond which made Aika worry a little.

"Meems?!"

She suddenly looked up to her surprised as Aika called her name.

"Huh?"

"Forgive me?"

"Oh, right. Yeah sure," Mimi replied without giving much importance to their conversation.

She doesn't look like she's got a boost of energy today. She was all quiet the moment they got inside the vehicle. Looking down at her denim pants, she sighed. It was still bothering her. Or rather, he was still bothering her. Why is he here? What is he doing in New York? It was all still mind boggling. Only his name could make her flinch at the sudden mention of it. The picture of a blue eyed blonde once lingered to her thoughts. It was stressing her. The time she woke up earlier that morning, she saw a puffy eyed woman in the mirror. He has this some kind of explosive effect on her. And it never goes away. Even though it has been almost five years that they haven't seen each other, he still had this mind blowing effect towards her. And she's always in question, about how it never occurred to her that she would be used to it.

Lifting up her head, she looked outside the window pane. The busy streets of Manhattan were in her sight. Worrying about her silence, Aika spoke up.

"You alright Meems?"

Mimi turned towards her and nodded.

"Yeah, don't worry."

"Listen, if you're mad at me for what I did, I'm really really sorry. I'll make up to you, I promise," she apologized with a pout.

"No, it's not that. But I accept your apology," Mimi said. She decided to put the thought of Matt away for now and concentrate on her friend. She felt that she was being selfish for ignoring Aika today.

"Are you sure? You're so quiet. Is there something bothering you? Just tell me. I could help."

Another sigh escaped her lips.

"No, there's nothing at all. Promise," she reassured her friend. _Lie._

Aika knew that it wasn't the truth, that there is something bothering Mimi. So instead of pushing her with her questions, she decided to stop asking and just let Mimi open up to her. That way, it would be much easier for Mimi to tell her everything._ 'Mimi just needs time_,' Aika thought.

"So," Mimi started up with a smile exposed on her face. "How was last night?"

"It was incredibly awesome Meems!" Aika told her with a wide ear- reaching smile. "Ryo is so hot!"

"Wait. Who's Ryo?" asked Mimi with a confuse look.

"Oh, he's the brown haired guy I danced with. Anyway, it was a lot of fun and totally great. We danced all night till I got tired and we danced some more. We even had two shots of beer while we danced…."

Aika enjoyed blabbering about her night and Mimi just tried hard to follow everything she says. She enjoyed narrating all that happened and once she gets started, there was no way that anyone could interrupt her.

"..and then he said I was beautiful. Do you believe that? He is attractive! Even his grins are heart melting.."

She continued on chattering every single detail of her night as the taxi reached their restaurant. They paid the driver and got out.

"He even introduced me to his friends. How lucky am I?"

"Very lucky I guess," Mimi managed to say with a sweat drop.

"Oh right Meems. He had this blonde friend, I think he's name was Yamato? Did I get that right? Anyway, they said they know you and you two _were_ together…."

This caught Mimi's attention and she stopped on her tracks. Did they really say that to Aika? I know Yamato was there, but who were he with? His bandmates? She didn't care about them, only him. What did they blab to Aika about? How did they get to that topic? She was shocked. She was more than shocked. _'I think I got stroked,'_ she thought.

"Yamato?" she asked Aika interrupting her from everything she ranted.

"Yes. I don't know about them, I only care about Ryo. I don't even know what has gotten to them. Maybe they were too drunk to think that one of America's top models would be their ex-girlfriends," Aika said in disbelief.

"Yeah you're right," she mentioned hoping that they were really drunk. She knows she hasn't told Aika about Yamato, and she doesn't want narrating it too, knowing that she'll just get stuck to the past thinking too much about it.

They made their way to the restaurant's entrance and at last, Aika had stopped ranting when she found herself hungry as the smell of pizza entered her nostrils. They got a table for two and there weren't many costumers so it was good to have a little privacy. They were in the far corner where almost the tables around them were unoccupied. Mimi sat on her seat facing the glass wall that showed the people passing by outside, while Aika sat opposite her facing the rest of the restaurant. They were beside the cemented wall so they wouldn't catch too much attention from the other customers.

The waiter came in with the menu book as they ordered. They scanned the entries for any of their liking.

"We'll have the supreme please, medium sized," Mimi told the waiter.

"And two Cokes," added Aika.

The waiter jotted their order and repeated it for them. Then, he took the menu book.

"Please wait for 10 minutes ma'am," said the waiter and left the both of them.

"So, anymore you want to tell me?" Mimi asked Aika.

"No, I ran out of words. How about you?" Mimi just shook her head as a 'no'. "C'mon Meems, tell me. I know there's something you're hiding."

Aika had just ruined her good mood. She was already successful in ignoring Yamato, about getting him out of her head. And here it was again. Though she knows she will have to face it again. She can't run away and forget everything about him, especially when her heart still thumps when she sees him. And she doesn't know what that thump means.

"Ok fine," she spoke in defeat.

"Yes! So you'll tell me what's bothering you?"

"Yeah."

"I knew it," she voiced out in success. "I knew there was something behind that smile of yours."

"Alright already. So do you want to hear it or not?"

"I want to."

Mimi sighed before saying anything. "Yamato's bothering me."

"That's it?" Aika asked sensing it was not a big deal. "Aw c'mon Meems. It's just a drunk fan of the gorgeous Mimi Tachikawa claiming she has been his girlfriend. It's no big deal. And I'm sure the media's not buying it, especially if he's just a nobody."

She was dumbstruck of her friend's response. It was not something she'd expect from her. And with that, she laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Ok. You got it all wrong Aik. What Yamato said is true."

The black haired woman knitted her eyebrows then lifted one up showing her confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. "Can you please start from the top?"

"Here it is. What Yamato said is true. Or, what his bandmates said is true. Well, whoever told you that we were together is true."

"Bandmates?" Aika interrupted and Mimi gave her a glare. "Ok, speak."

"When we were in High school back in Japan.."

Just as Mimi would start again, the waiter came in with their order. He put the pizza in the middle and their coke at the side with the straws and two glasses.

"Anything else ma'am?" he asked.

"No, thanks." With that, the waiter left.

"You know what, I'll just tell you after we eat. There are just too many damn distractions."

The duo began to slice their pizza and enjoyed lunch. After a few more minutes, they were done and they asked for their bill.

"So, back in high school in Japan, when I was 16 and Matt was 17, we were together. He had his band, and he'd always practice with them after school. With Seiji, Nate and your Ryo. Well, you know what happens, the usual high school gigs and all that. I _was_ insanely in love with that stupid blonde," she managed to say with a small laugh.

"Then I became a senior at 18, and he already graduated. He was 19. Those two years was the best moments in my life, but then I broke up with him and flew here. Without clearing things up. He was my 1st boyfriend you know, and I haven't even dated since I left him."

"Meems! Why? Why didn't you even tell him why you broke up with him? And I thought it would end as a happily ever after," Aika asked.

"It's complicated. And I don't want to think about it anyway."

Their bill came and they paid with exact amount. They sat for a while before getting out of the place.

¤-¤-¤

Meanwhile, Matt and his bandmates have already finished their lunch. They were in a shop of musical instruments and CD's looking at different electric guitars and drums. There were many instruments in the store and they tried playing some of them. When it didn't interest them anymore, they went out and strolled around at side streets of the city.

As they walked around, they passed along Adrianne's Pizza Bar.

"Hey, isn't that Mimi?" Nate asked noticing the brunette with her black haired friend.

At his sudden mention, the other guys looked at his direction especially Matt. Only at the mere mention of her name would make him anxious.

"Yeah it is," Yamato spoke entering the restaurant.

"Woah, hold on your heart there Ishida. You just can't waltz up to them interrupting their little chitchat. And besides, what are you going to say?" Seiji held him back.

"He's right Matt," Ryo added. "And is that Aika?" He eyed at Mimi's companion, receiving a 'who-do-you-think?' look from his other friends.

This thought struck his head. What is he going to do anyway? But with his stubbornness, he went inside and the others just followed him. Seiji and Nate took a seat in one of the tables and left the other two with their goddamned lives.

Just as she was about to ask Mimi something, Aika noticed Ryo coming towards them with a blonde beside him assuming that he's Yamato. Ryo grinned at her then she smiled, turning back to her friend. And when they were just a feet away from them, she asked.

"Are you still in love with him?"

The thought came to Mimi's head. Is she still in love with him? A couple of moments passed and she spoke, Matt hearing Aika's question and was about to hear Mimi's answer.

"I don't know."

It broke his heart.

Aika looked up to the boys and Mimi followed her gaze. When she turned her head, she saw a pair of cobalt eyes staring back at her. She quickly averted her face from him and shot her friend a dangerously angry glare with knitted eyebrows.

"Meems, can I talk to you?" Matt asked. She didn't respond to his question nor did she look at him from behind.

"I guess I'll leave you two," Aika said getting up and joined Ryo as they walked to another table just across Nate and Seiji. "Mimi will kill me with this."

"No she won't. If she does, I'll kill Matt," answered Ryo with a grin.

Yamato took Aika's seat and faced Mimi. Mimi was bowing down her head avoiding to look at him, because once he stares at his cobalt orbs, the past will be flooding back to her, the thing she's been escaping from since last night.

"Hey, how are you?" asked Yamato. Now, she was forced to face him. With all her strength, she lifted her head in level of his, and found his still handsome face staring back at her.

"Fine, I guess," she managed to incredibly speak without the nervousness in her voice. "You?"

"Lonely, yet I can manage, somehow. Don't know for how long. So, modeling eh?"

His answer gave her a bit of surprise which made her think._ Is it because of me? His loneliness I mean?_ Brushing away the thought, she focused on his question.

"Yeah, I found it easier to live with it. And I love my job," she forced a smile. Good thing they were conversing casually. It made her a little comfortable than talking about you-know-what. "And what brings you here, in New York?"

"We're on a tour. And record our first album."

"Cool. So how is it so far?"

"Just a couple of songs and we're done."

"That's nice to hear." She hated it. She hated the fact that she was already talking to Yamato yet she doesn't feel like he's the one she's talking to. They weren't so casual when they talked. They were always comfortable, enjoying every minute of it. But then again, that's how it _was_. Totally different from now. And she knows he hated it too. They both know it. "How long are you going to be here?"

"A month I think. We just arrived last week."

'_Three more months huh,'_ she thought. Then, without warning, her phone rang cutting in the dialogue of the two.

"Excuse me," she said taking out her phone and read the message silently. It came from Aika.

"_Meems, see you later ok? Don't be mad, please. Have fun!"_

She watched at their direction and saw the others going out of the restaurant leaving only the two of them.

Outside, Ryo and Aika were off to a different way parting from Nate and Seiji with his arm around Aika's shoulder. It was quite funny and interesting how the pair just met in a bar and then spends the next few days flirting with each other. They simply have huge guts to show their affections and how they think of each other in a short matter of time. That might be the start of something emotional from the lips, to the bed, and eventually in the heart. Cupid strikes again.

"Dudes, don't be back till six," Ryo shouted at his other friends without looking back and grinned widely at himself.

"Keep that stupid grin to yourself, idiot."

"Wow! That hurts. It stung my heart," he stated playfully with a hurt expression.

"Quit it. You're so corny," she commented with a laugh and nudged his waist.

Meanwhile with Matt and Mimi, they have decided to go outside and sit on the bench near the lamp post in the corner of the street. The latter checked up her wrist watch and noticed it was already 1:3o. She only has thirty more minutes until she needed to get back to work.

"You alright? Do you need to go?"

"Just for another 30 minutes," she explained.

"Listen Meems," he started up as he stared in her hazel eyes. "I'm still madly in love with you."

Shit. No he can't be. She was afraid of this. This is what she's been dodging from all day. It was the last topic she would want to discuss. It was all being thrown to her too fast. She was bombarded with so many emotions right now and she couldn't utter one simply damn word in reply. But the way he looked at her, she was positively sure that it wasn't a lie, that it held the goddamned truth, and it scared her shitless.

"I love you Mimi."

She looked away and stared down. She didn't want to see his face. Why can't everything that had already happened just stay in the fucking past? Why does it always has to haunt her? Chase her and drive her insane? All she wanted was to move on and forget about it all, or just even let go of it. But was it working?

Lifting up her head, her gaze straight ahead, not wanting to face him. Then it shifted to its other side, hiding her features with her chestnut hair so he couldn't see her.

"I can't… I can't do it Matt," she murmured.

"Why not? Can we just go back to what we were?"

"No, it's not that easy," she fought hard not to look at him.

"What's so difficult about it?"

"Everything! Everything's difficult. It's killing me." Matt ran his hand through his hair in frustration but kept his temper cool.

"Meems please. I love you. I need you. It's been driving me like a lunatic all those years that you weren't with me. I badly miss you. It's been too damn hard to wake up every morning knowing I'm not gonna be that same person in your heart anymore. I'm frustrated that I love you yet I don't even now how to get you back. It's always been you Meems, no one else."

This made her quiet, tears running down her face. She clutched her hands on the bench beside her legs for control.

"C'mon princess, don't let me make it harder for you."

"You already are!" She turned to face him with angry tears. Matt softly held her cheeks with his right hand and carefully wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"Do you love me?" he asked. She only took his hands and looked away.

'_I guess that's the only response I'll get,'_ he thought and sighed. "I'm not gonna give up easily you know."

Wiping away her tears, she stood up and ran to hail a cab. "I'm sorry Matt."

"You're going to run away again? You keep doing that to me," he said catching up to her, but she left.

Then, another cab pulled in front of him and got inside following Mimi. After a while, Mimi's ride came to a stop and she went inside her studio with haste. It was already 2:30 which made her 15 minutes late. He followed her, but when he got inside, she was nowhere to be found. Who knows what floor she was having her work.

Deciding not to barge in her career, he waited in the lounging area for her comeback. It was going to take a few hours before she's return, but to him, it's worth the wait. Anything for Mimi is worth it.

Moments passed by and it was already 5:00 pm. He gave up waiting and went outside, called a taxi and headed off. Just as he had gone away, Mimi came down from the elevator ready to go home. It was so close.

She rode a taxi towards her apartment, tired of everything that happened. When she arrived, she walked towards the door searching for her keys in her bag. Just as she looked up, she saw the last person she wanted to see that day. Yamato.

He was standing in her porch, waiting for her arrival. Mimi was surprised, and could only gape at who stood before her sight.

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**A/N:** How was my chap3?? It got longer than I thought. It should have more happenings, but I cut it though. It's too long. And it was so ironic of that when I started this chapter; I had so many problems because I can't decide what to type. And then here it is a longer chapter than my previous ones. Lol. I need reviews for my sake! If you want me to continue this, you must send me reviews. Please?! Bye! See ya!


	4. Wait For You

**A/N:** Hey! Don't worry about Mimi and Matt. They'll be together soon. Just wait and see. I have everything planned up. Hahaha. So don't stop reading. OK?? Oh, and did you know, I just read stephenie meyer's twilight. I just love it to the maximum! Edward Cullen is the best. He got me thinking of him all day. And I even forgot to continue my chapter 4. I really love to continue it and read New moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. Oh, and there's a Twilight movie coming up. I'm excited! **Warning: there are some profanities in here. Be prepared!** So, enough of this, and here's chapter 4!!

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**Twice the Love, Twice the Pain**

**Chapter 4: Wait for You**

_By_

**©ancercute**

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"What are you doing here?" she kept her voice straight, showing no emotion.

"I told you, I'm not giving up so easily."

"That doesn't answer my question," she moved to her doorstep, unlocked the doorknob and went inside.

"I came to wait for you," he answered as he followed her.

Her apartment was dim since there was no light on and due to the fact that it was exactly six in the evening. She put down her bag on the couch and sighed. Yamato was so close behind her. Too close that it made her muscles tense and flex. He tilted his head and nuzzled her soft creamy neck, inhaling her fragrant Victoria Secret perfume.

"Mmmm.."

She could feel his warmth on her neck as he continued to trace it and wrapped his arms around her waist. She closed her eyes and hoped that this would stop, before her mind would shut down and her body would get in control of the situation, and she didn't want that to happen. Yamato was now kissing her neck climbing up to her jaw. Mimi groaned in response. She missed this. She knows how badly she wanted to bring the old times back- how they used to be in each others' arms safely. But she was scared, afraid to be hurt again.

Breaking from his hold, she turned to face him and bowed down her head. "Let's not do this," she pleaded.

But Yamato protested. He knows he can't fight back the urge of having her again. She was his first love, and vice versa. They were young then. But until now, now that they've grown mature, she is still the person his heart beats for and no on else.

"I can't help it Meems."

Then, without hesitation, he kissed her on the lips passionately, savoring every little flavor of her. He kissed her like there was no tomorrow, but she didn't respond to his actions. She pulled back from him avoiding his gaze. Yet, they were too close to each other and she could breathe his strong perfume- the same scent he had the night before. It allured her.

"Mimi please. I love you. I will never hurt you ok? I just miss you too much. Just one night please. One night," Yamato said looking intently and longingly in her eyes as he lifted her chin.

He didn't wait for her to respond. He pressed his lips again, but gently on hers, wrapping his arms around her waist. This time, Mimi kissed him back too, intertwining her arms in his neck. They kissed each other for a long time and then parted for air. Matt trailed down his lips to Mimi's collarbone. His breathe was so warm.

Mimi pulled his collar as she directed backward, heading to the stairs. They bumped several times to the wall and other furniture as they made their way through the stairs focusing only to the person they were with. They reached Mimi's room and pushed the door open, both stumbling to bed. Then he began to remove her clothes..

¤-¤-¤

A heavy but warm breathing woke her up from her sleep. The moment she opened her eyes, she saw a broad muscular chest sleeping beside her. She got up form her position and lay back against the headboard of her bed. She wondered what this man was doing here as she studied her surroundings. It was definitely her place. Clothes were scattered everywhere and that's when it hit her. It all came back to her memory, when she noticed the white blanket covering both of them.

"Fuck." She glanced towards her bedside lamp in search for her clock. It was already 8:3o in the morning. She groaned at herself at their scene. Her body dominated her last night and took over her brain. Slowly and quietly, she got up from her bed, using the blanket as cover for her body and gathered all her garments carefully not wanting to wake Yamato up. She put all of them in the laundry bag and got new ones from her closet. Quickly, she clothed herself with her underwear and skirt; and just as she finished clipping her pink lacy bra, she felt warm hands caressing her smooth bare shoulders from behind making her flinch.

"Mimi," he spoke gently and pressed his nose in her hair beside her neck.

She trembled at his actions as he fidgeted with her bra straps. _'Here it is again,'_ she thought in frustration. She took his hands and put them down, turning to face him. She didn't like doing this, making him miserable, pitying him for everything she does to avoid him. Yet, she finds herself doing it over and over again.

"I can't do this Matt. Please understand." Matt didn't like what she was saying. He was done with all the gentle and sweet parts, confessing the same 'I love you' lines. He wanted to know why she was pushing him away.

"What is there to understand if you don't give me a damn explanation? I am tired of you pushing me away without any decent reason. Fuck it Mimi. What did I do?" he asked in sudden rage.

He demanded an explanation and she knew this was going to come somehow in a certain time. But she didn't know it would come attacking her right now. Right this moment. She had to face it, not wanting to be that weak crying little girl she always used to be. She had to fight back, now that they came to a point where she will be clearing things up for him, and surely it will not end crystallized.

"What did you do? What did you fucking do?! You. Fucking. Slept. With. My. Fucking. Best. Friend. Sora," she shouted back at him like needles pricking his heart with every single word she spoke.

He burrowed his eyebrows at her answer. "What?! I haven't slept with her in a million years!"

"Lie! I know you did, and I saw it with my complete two own eyes. Her in your room, in your damn bed sleeping like some whore you picked up from the streets, right after Tai's party."

He was surprised. He didn't remember much of it to keep it a big deal.

"That's what you're frustrated about?! It was a simple mistake. A goddamned accident. That meant nothing. You know I didn't do it in purpose."

"Accident my ass Ishida. What? Her bra just suddenly jumps off bursting from her bare naked breast? And her panties accidentally fell down? Then you tripped and accidentally slipped your fucking dick into hers?! Some accident huh Ishida?!" she spat in his face like some poisonous venom that hurt him.

"I was fucking drunk Tachikawa! WE were drunk! We didn't know what we were doing!"

"Oh right. I'm sorry I forgot the fact that your head is so full of crazy hormones and insane testosterones that it doesn't have enough space for me left," she said sarcastically. They were fighting like maniacs with each other that they didn't even notice Yamato was barely wearing anything except his boxers and Mimi was shirtless, and it was such a beautiful morning. But it didn't even matter now. Did it?

"Mimi that was over. It's done and it's in the freaking goddamned past! Can you just forget about it and burry it in the pits of hell?"

"Easy for you to say bastard. You didn't cry like a lunatic like what I did then. You didn't know how painful it was for me crying my organs out until my eyeballs fall. Because it wasn't you who got hurt. It wasn't you who went ballistic over something stupid that made me trash my room like hell!"

"I didn't get hurt? I practically went killing myself when you left. I was miserable like shit pouting around all day throwing any damn thing I see and punching every wall. I ruined two whole concerts because I can't get over you, and until now I still can't. I had everyone especially the digidestined worried sick about me. I haven't had any girlfriends after you and I haven't slept with any woman ever since without thinking they were you. And I can't even force myself to sleep with them because you drive me crazy. You Meems. You. It's always been you," he said slowing down at the last sentences being persuasive.

There was a moment of silence after this.

"Please leave," she spoke in a low voice avoiding his gaze.

Hesitating to continue their bickering, Yamato picked up his clothes and put them on. Mimi was frozen in her place, absorbing everything he said as she waited for him to finish. After buttoning his shirt, he came near her and cupped her face with his hands. He pressed his lips gently into hers with care.

"I still love you," he whispered and left the room.

She listened to his footsteps going down the staircase and heard the loud bang of the slammed front door. That's it. He left. Tears suddenly started to run down her cheeks as she sat down on the floor with her back against the closet door. She cried in anger, frustration… and sadness.

¤-¤-¤

Entering the hotel lobby, Yamato was greeted by Nate and Seiji as the duo made their way towards the coffee express café.

"Hey Matt. Had breakfast already?" asked Nate.

"No, where's Ryo?" he asked noticing the brunet wasn't there.

"In your room."

With that, he headed up the floor where their room was located. He and Ryo stayed in one room while Seiji and Nate stayed in another. He needed to have a shower and cleanse himself after having a loud and disorderly morning, and at least for sometime have his head washed from the thoughts of Mimi knowing she would be in his head all day long. He reached their room, turned the doorknob and went inside. Just as he was going towards the closet, he stopped dead in his tracks. The scene displaying before him was the last thing he wanted to see in the morning. Ryo was on top of Aika on the bed both shirtless. He groaned.

"Aw man, get out," complained Ryo at the blonde.

"I am going to take a bath if you don't mind. So both of you better dress the hell up cuz it's already late. And I hope you didn't do anything stupid in the bathroom," he shot back as he grabbed his clothes from the closet and went inside the bathroom, shutting the door close.

"Someone woke up in the wrong side of bed," Aika said getting up from her position and pulled on her sleeveless shirt.

"The wrong side of Mimi's bed..," he snorted and laughed.

"Oh Mimi," she burst suddenly remembering her friend. "I wonder if she's alright with the entire Yamato thing. And how'd you know he was with her?"

"Don't worry. She's gonna be fine. And where else could have he been? With his mood like that, I'm sure they just had another squabble," he explained with an uninterested tone.

"Listen, I have to go and check her out."

"You sure? You don't want to have breakfast with us?" he asked wanting to have more time with her.

"Yeah I'm sure. Besides, I have to take a bath," she reassured with a smile.

"Okay."

Then, she pulled his face and kissed him before leaving through the door.

"Bye!" She headed down to the lobby and waved Nate and Seiji goodbye when she saw them. The two guys waved back as she disappeared in a taxi.

After a while, Matt and Ryo emerged with the two in their table and ordered coffee and a slice of cake for breakfast. They were going to complete recording their album today and throw a gig the next day. They were all excited about everything that's gonna happen with their career- almost all of them. It was their dream since high school, the moment they first strum their guitar and played the drums. They made it big in Japan, and attempted to make it bigger in the States. Afterward the release of their first album, they should be starting another single for the next. But that was the problem. Yamato was still not in the mood of composing any decent songs. His mind was not focused on that lately and he hasn't found any inspiration to begin with. He must pull himself together to do it. Of course he wasn't alone in this. He had his bandmates there to help him, but that was just it. They were only able to help him improve their song but not to an extent that they can help him to begin with it.

The Teenage Wolves got up from their seats and headed for the recording studio. They met with their manager and engaged with their instruments as they entered the soundproof room.

After performing three whole songs continuously, they had a chance to take a break. Mimi's words were all glued up in Yamato's mind. Everything she said registered in his memory. _Slept.. with my.. best friend Sora._ _Her.. in your room, in your damn bed.. sleeping like some whore. Some.. accident huh Ishida. It doesn't.. have enough.. space for me. It wasn't you.. who got.. hurt._ He had to admit, it was his fault for being careless- being drunk and having a one night stand with his girlfriend's best friend. Smooth move it was. But she had her share of faults too. If she could have settled their talk earlier before she left, she wouldn't be avoiding him like he was some kind of disease and he wouldn't be left thinking to himself about what he did wrong like a dumbass. He could have apologized earlier if she just didn't leave and shut up like nothing happened.

_I never felt nothing in the world like this before  
Now I'm missing you and I'm wishing you would come back through my door  
Why did you have to go?  
You could have let me know; so now I'm all alone_

He stared at the door feeling every negative emotion there was. Guilt. Loneliness. Stupidity. Carelessness. Frustration. Hurt. Sadness. He didn't like it. Everything was the opposite without her around.

_Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance  
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand  
And all my tears they keep runnin' down my face  
Why did you turn away?_

Now, she was avoiding him- scared that he would shatter her heart into pieces if she tried to love him again. She loved him once, and got hurt. If she tried to love him one more time, maybe she would end up pained again. She was afraid to take risks- the risk to forgive, forget and accept. But she will never move on with her life if she doesn't take those risks. That's what life is all about. She never even got to date anyone after him. How is her life going to turn out? He knows she is scared. But he still doesn't know if her heart remains to beat for him.

_So why does your pride make you run and hide  
Are you that afraid of me?  
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside  
This is not how you want it to be_

It'll take time. Time heals all wounds. But it happened a long time ago. Five years to be exact. Didn't she have enough time to heal? Or is it because he is the wound? He doesn't know what will happen, how it will turn out with both of them. Maybe he just has to wait a little longer, to have more patience.

_So baby I will wait for you  
Cause I don't know what else I can do  
Don't tell me I ran out of time  
If it takes the rest of my life_

_Baby I will wait for you  
If you think I find it just ain't true  
I really need you in my life  
No matter what I have to do  
I'll wait for you_

He ran his hands through his hair and took a sip of his Coke. He has to stay positive. He needs to. Mimi's words came crashing down to him again- about what happened that time during and after Tai's victory party. He tried to remember it.

_Been a long time since you called me  
(How could you forget about me)  
You gotta be feeling crazy  
How can you walk away  
(When) Everything stays the same  
I just can't do it baby_

**.Flashback.**

It was at Tai's place, 6 pm, and a while after the national's soccer game contest which ended in victory. That time, Mimi and Matt were still together and also Tai and Sora. They were all seniors, except for Mimi and Koushiro being juniors, Takeru and Hikari being freshmen and Joe in college, and were about to graduate. All of the other people in the party were mainly Tai's teammates and the 4th year students. It was the usual high school parties with drinks and dancing and etc.

Past nine, almost all of the teens were drunk, especially Tai. Shockingly, Mimi wasn't feeling the party because usually she's always up for those kinds of events, but she wasn't. She was looking for Yamato in the crowd to drive her home when the drunken Tai spotted her and pulled her in the corner then started kissing her. She pushed him away knowing that he is her best friend's boyfriend and she respected that fact. Thankfully, no one saw them. Well, at least that's what she thought.

Sora had seen the whole scene. She knows that he was drunk, but the fact that it was her best friend that he kissed, she felt nauseous. She began to drink a lot of alcohol so that she'd forget what she saw.

Tai's house was like crap. The loud music was blaring Mimi's ears and the people were partying like wild animals. It took a while before she found Yamato. He was talking and drinking with his bandmates.

"Hey Matt. Could you take me home? I'm not feeling the party."

"Are you sure Meems? You okay?"

"Yeah, I am. Don't worry."

"Ok, let's go," he put his arms around her shoulders. "Be back guys."

"You sure you're not drunk? I don't want to be driven home by my drunken boyfriend."

He laughed. "I'm not drunk. I just had one drink."

Soon, Matt drove Mimi home and told her good night. Then, he returned back to Tai's for the party.

A few hours passed, Yamato was totally drunk and decided to go home. Fortunately, he didn't mess up with his driving although he was already intoxicated by alcohol, and came home in one piece. He didn't know that Sora was at the back of his car and arrived at his place with him. Both being oblivious to what was happening; they made their way to Matt's room being tipsy. And the rest was history..

The next morning, Mimi went over to Matt's. She crept to surprise him in his room but found out that she was the one who was taken by surprise, or rather shock. The scene before her was unbearable. It made her knees wobble and spring out fresh tears from her eyes making little sobbing sounds. Most of all, she felt like her heart was being tied up by heavy chains and was being battered by a mace. Sora and Yamato were sleeping soundlessly in one bed under the covers, and it looked intolerably painful. She quietly closed the door and ran outside with tears running down her face. She hasn't had the chance to tell him that a modeling agency approved her papers.

Over the following days, just before Yamato's graduation, she had been acting as if they were only friends. When he would come up to her and say 'I love you,' she'd just faked back a smile. Though it can be flawlessly seen through her eyes that something was wrong, she would only smile and say nothing no matter how hard he tries to persuade her.

The day came when the brunette would be leaving for America, and didn't even bother to celebrate a party or whatsoever. She just bid them goodbye in the airport and gave Matt her last kiss, telling him that they should break up. Without giving him a chance to protest, she went to the terminal.

**.End of Flashback.**

_What will it take to make you come back  
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that  
Why can't you look at me?  
You're still in love with me  
Don't leave me crying_

Matt rested his face on the palm of his hands while his elbows were on top of his knees. That moment was fresh and crystal clear to Mimi's memory, like it only happened yesterday.

_Baby why can't we just start all over again  
Get it back to the way it was  
If you give me a chance I can love you right  
But you're telling me it won't be enough  
_

Break time was now over. They needed to record three more songs and they're done. Shaking off his thoughts, he joined the rest of his bandmates and started work.

_Baby I will wait for you  
Baby I will wait for you  
If it's the last thing I do_

_Baby I will wait for you  
Cause I don't know what else I can do  
Don't tell me I ran out of time  
If it takes the rest of my life_

_Baby I will wait for you  
If you think I find it just ain't true  
I really need you in my life  
No matter what I have to do  
I'll wait for you  
I'll be waiting …_

¤-¤-¤

Four shopping bags were in her hands while she rampaged out her way of Macy's store in the mall. An hour and a half had already passed since she started buying stuffs. She thought that shopping- her favorite past time- would help her get Yamato out of her brain, but hell it didn't work. All she did after he left her apartment earlier that morning was make herself busy so that no random thoughts or nonsense things would come up her mind. Yet, Yamato occasionally pop in her head when she chooses perfumes and lotions, or try out some pair of shoes, or if she fits some clothes on. It wasn't helping, although she did buy a lot of stuff.

Somehow, just before she exits the mall, she found herself staring at some music store through the glass wall that displayed a blue electric guitar. Funny how she still remembers the color of his instrument. Moments of the past suddenly flooded in her head. They kept flashing and popping out everywhere. Then, she didn't realize a curve lifted from the side of her lips. She was smiling. A picture of the group here, Sora and Tai there, Takeru and Kari.. and a blonde with a brunette in the middle. It was so simple, and fun in the past. Why does it have to get so complicated now?

As she caught a glimpse of the time in her wristwatch, she hasn't notice how long she has been smiling in front of that music store. She made her way out and went home.

When she arrived, she saw Aika in her porch. _'People sure are waiting for me in the porch these days,'_ she thought.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing here Aik?"

"Apparently hoping to check you out. I ditched you yesterday."

"It's alright though," she said and went inside her apartment dropping the shopping bags.

"You went shopping?"

She gave her friend a nod for a 'yes'.

"Without me?!" Aika asked in a horrid expression.

"Hey, I'm not the one going out with guys lately you know," she defended.

"Ok fine. I know."

Mimi went upstairs to put her new clothes and shoes and whatsoever in her room with Aika helping out. She was putting the lotions and perfumes she bought in her dresser when she noticed a sliver necklace with a pink heart diamond pendant. She picked it up and remembered that it was Yamato's gift on her 18th birthday when they were still together. Now how would it just end up lying there? She hasn't paid much attention to it to notice anyway. But it looked so beautiful, and special.

"Uuuugggghhh!!" she screamed putting the jewelry in her jewelry box and tried to focus on arranging her stuff in the dresser. Why does everything around her remind him of Yamato?

She was being so difficult. She knows she's making it hard for herself just by being so stubborn- thinking that they don't need to be together anymore, convincing herself that she doesn't love him anymore, not giving herself a chance to try. But guess what? He's been in her head all day long. The picture of them together was still clinging in her brain. A tall blonde with his blue guitar… It is so damn simple, yet she's the one making it more complicated.

"Hey, what's wrong girl?" asked Aika coming over her.

The brunette stopped what she was doing and sat down in her bed with Aika doing the same thing.

"I think I still do," she said in a low cracking voice with her head bowing down.

"Huh? What?"

"I think I'm still in love him."

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**A/N:** Chapter 4 is done! The song in this chapter is "Wait for you" by Elliott Yamin. Wait for me in my next update, will ya? Oooh, and I love Edward cullen! Isn't he perfect? Lol. Bye for now! And click on that review button! You better do! Or else…


	5. History Repeats Itself

**A/N: **It's been a very very long time. And I am very very sorry of not updating my fic. Truly very sorry. I'm currently doing my "Ninth Life" and with school around, I've got less time with everything. And I had the "Writer's Block" disease! So I hope you appreciate this. I won't be updating sooner, just to inform you. Hope you like chapter 5!

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**Twice the Love, Twice the Pain**

**Chapter 5: History Repeats Itself**

_By_

**©ancercute**

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A smile crept on her face when she read the card inserted in a bouquet of red, white and pink roses that was sent to her. It was from Yamato, telling- or rather inviting- her to watch his concert later that night. She was in a good mood today, and was definitely sure that she is going to give their relationship another chance. She was going to try again. Life included risks, and sometimes, risks make life meaningful.

It was the same routine as the last times. Matt would send her a bouquet of flowers inviting her to his band's concerts. It had been his special way of asking her. Until now, it didn't fade or even escape his memory.

Aika walked over to Mimi with a smile plastered on her face.

"Are you going?" she asked.

"To the concert?"

"Yup. I'm going. I want to see them perform," Aika explained.

"Them or Ryo?"

"He's part of them," the smile faded and a grin soon appeared. "So, are you going or what?"

"Yeah I am."

"Great! It's good for you to give him a chance Meems."

"Yeah sure." She sighed.

Mimi wondered if she chose the right decision- of letting Matt step once again in her life after those years. She knows the wound in her heart was not yet completely healed, and she doubted if it ever would. She has been doing all she can just to keep herself busy. Concentrate on modeling.. hanging out with Aika.. and trapping herself inside the company looking for work. But of course, those things were only for the hands and mind. Not for the heart- not to keep the heart busy. It still had a lot of free time, and it didn't even take that damn free time for it to cure. Although, maybe, the wound may heal eventually, it would still not recover to the fullest. For the pain she endured was too much that it will leave a mark- a sign that she'd been hurt, a sign signifying the unforgettable past.

But is it worth taking the risk? The risk of second chances? The risk of falling in love again? No, that's not the word. Not 'again'. But the term would be 'continuously'. The risk of falling in love continuously- because she has never stopped loving him. That was the plain stupid truth. That's what she's always been denying.

Maybe time has changed him. Maybe he realized that he could not live without her, that he had made a grave mistake. Life is full of maybe's…

"Hmm. We'll see," she whispered to herself with a smile.

She did try to consider it- to consider him. But there were marks. Marks of pain and wound he left unhealed. She was forcing herself to patch things up. Somehow, in her ruined and broken life, would she be able to bring it back to normal? Or would it end incomplete like the last time? How many things have she left undone?

A lot. She knew that.

She left him without explanations. She left away her heart wrecked. She left a part of her life. She left him.

Everything she started was left hanging and unfinished. All she did was run away and start a new life.

Do you ever wanted to live an incomplete life? Every part is partial? Never been accomplished? Like you just start and then leave everything in the line. Somehow, she made it look like her existence was a phrase – meaningless. Unlike a sentence, it has a beginning and an end, a period and has a complete thought. Isn't it nice that you know for a fact that something in your life is fulfilled? And not just leave it blank, like a phrase without any sense.

If she was a phrase today, where was the other part that made her a sentence?

Everything she left behind, she was determined to try and fix it. She knows she can't evade the past. Somehow, it'll come back haunting you. That's why they say "history repeats itself." _They_ were history. And she was willing to repeat it again.

¤-¤-¤

The song faded away with the sound of his electric guitar strumming the last note. He was desperate. Very desperate. They were performing later that night in a small bar, probably the place where they had their first escapade in Manhattan; and he was fretting over the unmade decision of Mimi- if she was to watch or not. For all he knows, she wouldn't bother to come since she was pushing him away all the while. He had been persuading her in vain, showing her how much he'd do to claim her back. And somehow, it was useless.

"Get a grip man," Ryo said. "In less than 24 hours, we're showing America the next chart topping band."

"He's right Matt. You're not going to mess this up for all of us," added Seiji.

"Don't worry. She might come for all we know," Nate encouraged. Matt looked at him for a moment. And for the first time, he finally felt hope.

"Yeah sure. I hope she does."

It was plain obvious to the guys that he was making a fool of himself with the girl. He looked like he was losing at a poker game. Betting and betting, but never a single win. It's just a point in his life where he kept on giving out, yet, had never received a single thing in return. He was the loser.

But do you consider the person who felt love was all he needed to be normal again as a fool? Crazy? Insane? Whatever you call it… Was he?

For some, he might be. There are millions of girls in the world- others chasing after him. But the one he's going after is running away.

For him, he didn't care. What's a bunch of negative criticism if he had a chance with her? But that was the big question mark. Does he really have a chance?

The band began practicing again and the music was getting better. He'll just have to think of her presence during their show.

After a few more hours, they took a break and wandered around Upper East Side. They hung out at Starbucks; window shopped at some overly priced branded stores and had a chat with some famous artists they found along the way of Manhattan.

Just as they were walking down the street, Matt spotted in a music store a poster. He stopped and looked at it. Mimi was standing a pose with an electric guitar strapped on her shoulders holding it with her hands. A text in the bottom says, 'I used to love a rockstar who played his blue electric guitar.'

And that sentence hit him as hard as a rock. _Used to_.

"Get over it man," Seiji said patting Matt's back.

They continued to aimlessly wander around the cold windy streets as they let time pass.

Get over her? How the hell is he suppose to do that? It isn't like she hasn't been nagging through his brain all the while lately. And the fact that nothing ever makes him forget her is a whole lot harder to absorb. Every single day of his life, he wanted so bad- very very bad- to have a chance with her again. To love her. To embrace her. To make things right again.

What was so difficult about giving him a chance? He knew the answer to that. She was afraid to get her heart pricked by a thousand thorns by a man she loved.

It was evident on her face and actions. She avoided him when he wanted to talk to her, when he wanted to make love with her. And she let those things happen. Only, when she woke up, it was like war of the worlds. Arguments that ended on nothing but tears and pain on both parts. Maybe because when she allowed those, she ended up pained. And if she tries to give him a chance, the pain will ache more. Until she couldn't carry them at all.

The sudden loud honking sound of a horn from a vehicle ran through his ears and he awakened back to reality. The things he saw happened too fast that he was nowhere on comprehending them. He knew that he was standing in the middle of the street with his bandmates looking at him with concern and knitted eyebrows. He heard again the honk of the horn from a vehicle and this time, he realized what was going on.

He was standing in the middle of the street with the driver beeping for him, signalizing him to get out of the way. The nose of the car was centimeters away from him and he was almost hit by it if the driver didn't pull the break right away. There was a small traffic that he caused, receiving angry yells from a few drivers and passengers. He quickly crossed the street to his friends and went away from the scene with huge humiliation.

"What were you doing man?" Ryo asked in bewilderment. "Don't tell me you've gone suicidal."

"I didn't notice what was happening, stupid," he shot back.

"Hey. Don't get pissed Mattie. Watch where you're going next time," said Nate.

"Yeah. Get a grip man. Mimi's not coming back if you keep on sulking," Seiji added.

There it goes again. They always use her name to get to him. It wasn't because she was tired of hearing it. It's because nothing ever does make him realize what he's doing without the mere mention of her name.

"Seriously Matt," Seiji began. "Don't you get tired?" He asked the question in full curiosity which made Matt look up to him.

"No," he simply replied.

"No? Never?"

"Never."

Seiji whistled, admired at how persistent he is. All through those three years… It reminded him of an old song that goes "tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree. It's been three long years. Do you still love me? If I don't see a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree. I'll stay in the bus, forget about us and put the blame on me…'

He laughed at the thought of how it somehow fitted his friend's situation. That was indeed a long three years. And in some way, some people still don't change in that span of time. Their decisions, feelings, and determination stay the same.

He admired Yamato for that and realized how lucky Mimi was that she was loved by someone like Matt. And she was still not giving him a chance. Poor Matt. The things that he has to go through…

Just as they were endlessly walking again, Matt noticed the huge billboard above. Mimi advertising Chanel apparels.

¤-¤-¤

Later that evening, the band was preparing for their gig in Coastal Lounge Bar. Ryo scratched his head while he looked for his guitar which was right behind him. Nate was dusting his set of drums trying to make it look shiningly brand new. Seiji was cheking the tone of his bass, adjusting the sound of each string while he was plopped down in a couch.

For Yamato.. He was strumming his guitar, blankly staring at the front door, probably hoping for someone to walk through it. In a few minutes now, the bar would open and a lot of people will be coming in drinking and partying. The scary part was that, they were the newbie- not so popular in this country.

Each of them was in their own world, doing the things they need to do. No one among them spoke, except for Ryo who was quietly muttering to himself every once in a while, trying to avoid himself from going insane because he couldn't find anyone to play with. His bandmates were busy.

"C'mon guys," he suddenly said. "Think about me. I can't stand the silence and not speaking. Talk to me."

"Shut up," Nate replied.

"Why not prepare your guitar?" Seiji suggested.

"I found it already. Too lazy to practice with it," he explained.

"Then call Aika so you could shut up," Matt interrupted.

"Right. That's a good one."

He dialed Aika's number in his phone and talked to her endlessly. He was the one whose only voice was heard in the room. The others almost slept in boredom, waiting for the damn clock to strike 8pm when the bar would open. They already took their dinner early so they wouldn't have to waste any time. But now, all they do is wait.

A loud abrupt bang of the door woke them up from the dullness that dragged them.

"Guys. Get ready. The club is opening," their manager announced.

They lazily got up and positioned their instruments on the stage. A few people were already inside having some cocktail drinks and finger food while others danced with the disco music. Yamato and the guys set up the amplifiers and microphones and every necessary thing needed.

His eyes roamed in the room, finding a brunette with brown eyes. It was somehow difficult to look for someone in the dim light and crowded space. Still, he hasn't found her.

The bar was getting packed as more people continued to come inside.

"Hey party people!" The female emcee shouted. "Are you guys ready to rock?"

The crowd screamed and hollered in the dark room with only the colorful disco lights danced around.

"Man, I'm having a nerve-rack," stated Seiji beside the stage.

"Chillax man. It's a gig with beautiful ladies," Ryo said in cheer.

"Hah! If Aika knew that," added Nate.

The crowd still cheered and shouted. "Let's give it up to Japan's hottest band, the Teenage Wolves."

"C'mon guys," Yamato said entering the stage walking to the center. They took their instruments and positioned.

As they played, the people danced and partied all throughout. And every fraction of a second they performed on stage, he waited. He waited, staring at the door, for her arrival. When it would open and reveal the only person he was dying to see.

After a few more songs, they took a break and the DJ took over. There were lots of drinks, people partying and being merry, and it was hot and crowded. The band was enjoying their time, lounging in the couch having drinks and being entertained by some women.

"Is she here?" Matt asked Nate.

"Sorry," he replied.

The blonde took his bottle of drink and sipped it. He didn't have a continuous conversation with others in the bar but only a quick talk. He wasn't in the mood to be all smiles when there isn't even a reason to- when the reason was not there. Some women who attempted to buy his time and attention ended up in vain. He just answered their questions in casualty and indifference. He wasn't really interested. He just wants _her_.

Time passed by again with nothing. The only face he was searching was still not found. He already finished three bottles of alcohol in waiting and in any moment, he would order another one.

"Man, don't get wasted. We still have to play," whispered Seiji.

"I'm fine. I'm not drunk," he replied.

Was he letting himself get wasted if she wasn't gonna show herself? He was like a sulking shit from the moment he plopped in the couch. Desperate. He was beyond desperate.

"You better make sure of that. You're not going to ruin this for all of us. That's what you said," reminded Ryo.

"I know. Don't fret," he answered without concern which made his bandmates look at him in doubt and worry.

Their manager came up to them, telling they're up next. They performed the second half of their show in full energy and adrenaline. It was successful and no flaw was seen in their performance. In relief, Matt's bandmates sighed knowing Matt took control of himself.

Unlike before, without Mimi, everything was meaningless. Even tonight was meaningless. She was nowhere before him. Although he was somehow happy for their band that their gig was good, he was wholly miserable by just looking at his eyes. It was dark and lonely. His face was wretched, completely incomplete.

The heat of the crowded place, the beat of the deafening music, the dimness of the room and the satisfaction from the faces of every person inside made Matt want to go out and take a deep breath of fresh air. He wanted a peaceful moment, someway to clear up his tangled mind. Without any hesitation, he took another bottle of beer- the fourth one that night- and headed towards the door. He wanted to step out and taste the cold windy breeze of the November night.

When he reached for the door, pulling it, he met the mocha colored eyes of the beautiful faced Mimi standing outside the doorstep.

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**A/N: **Sorry again for the very late update. I really miss the drama of this fic. And I miss One Tree Hill! For being an inspiration for this story. And all those sad love songs. Damn. It makes me want to cry. I'm currently listening to "You and Me" by Lifehouse while typing this author's note. OMG! It's really getting to me. Anyway, **Merry Christmas**! Especially to _**LiANA (sheen_01)**_! Yeay! I have updated. **MERRY CHRiSTMAS **once again, and have a** Happy Holidays!**


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